You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
