Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
