It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
he fucked my hip out of place.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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