I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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