what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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