Non-Jews are for practice
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
