to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
God gave him joint rollers for hands
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
