Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
