Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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