I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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