haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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