all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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