Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I want to be your penis for a week.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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