She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
This house was built for laser tag.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
i now understand why vodka
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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