there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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