my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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