Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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