I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
