I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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