Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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