i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
