Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I would ride that face into the sunset
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
