Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
