where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
