do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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