laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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