Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
