I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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