They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
