All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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