Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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