he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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