Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
