I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize