I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
