Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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