Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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