It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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