Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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