Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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