brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
His hands were made for my vagina.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize