She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I deserve this hangover.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
