You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
