Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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