I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
