the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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