I skipped work to stalk him.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
