Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
it's like heaven, but drunker
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Randomize
