a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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