i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Holy sore nipples Batman
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
