I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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