Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
