When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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