I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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