i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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