I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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