Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
