what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
