Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
