You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
