My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
