I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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