i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
