I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Randomize
