I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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