so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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