im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
high people should be assigned attendants
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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